Reflections

I've been thinking this morning about when my older kids were little (Things 1&2) and how busy I always was with them. Waking up most mornings to a crying, hungry, wet baby (Thing 2) nursing him and changing him, all while keeping a toddler busy (Thing 1) and out of trouble, then corralling her and getting her ready for the day. She loved SHOES. Sometimes, in order to give me a few minutes to get myself ready in the mornings, I would give her a box of shoes to play with. She had been given SO MANY - more than I have ever had in my life. She would put them on and off, play with the buckles, take out the laces and put them back in, and sing and chatter happily. It seemed then that I was often going from task to task with little time in between. Then Thing 3 came along and woah, if I thought I was busy before, having one preschooler, one toddler and a newborn with special needs really put things into perspective for me. Our baby girl, Peanut as she was affectionately called from the very beginning by the doctors, nurses and everyone else who saw her, has Down syndrome. Oh how tiny she was, and how weak. She was like a little rag doll with no muscle tone - we called her marshmallow baby. I fought from the very beginning to get her to nurse. It would tire her out so quickly and she would fall asleep. It was frustrating but after a couple of weeks of waking her every two hours, round the clock (doctor's orders!) she finally got the hang of it and her hunger instinct and rooting reflexes kicked in. So I had two very busy and mischevious little people, besides a newborn to contend with. Laundry often piled up, a "clean" house took on a new meaning - and I was tired all the time. Peanut could not take a bottle, and as she grew it took her months before she was able to eat any other foods. She was over a year old before she could eat cereal without gagging - but then she discovered Cheerios. Oh how she loved them! Just the sight of the big yellow box would get her all happy and excited. Funny thing is that Cheerios, straight out of the box, are still her favorite food. I'm amazed at how much of the stuff she can eat!!

For nearly two years I continued to nurse her, round the clock, every two hours. She was like a little timer - she would not cry but would snuffle around and I could tell she was hungry. Two hours would go by, and she'd be hungry again. I was thankful for her little internal clock because in the beginning we had to watch every ounce she gained, and feeding her was such a struggle. She had a heart defect that needed to be surgically corrected at the age of one year, so that slowed her development even more.

It's funny how sometimes I can think I am so busy, but looking back in time my definition of "busy" has changed significantly through the years, as my perspective has changed. Because Things 1&2 are both teenagers now they share a good deal of the housework - so I probably have more "free time" than I ever had. I can run to the store by myself, I can go for lunch or coffee with friends or I can take some time to write a blog like this. I just need to make sure everyone stays on task or stuff piles up quickly around here!

Well, I'm off to babysit for a friend who is coming over today. She used to be a student of mine, and now has babies of her own! Her little guy is staying while she and her husband take their two oldest girls to the dentist. It will be fun to have a baby in the house again.

I gotta admit I don't miss diapers and diaper bags and portable car seats - but I do miss my babies from time to time.

In His Care ~ Beth ~