The Ring

After I had accepted my beloved's proposal and he placed the ring on the third finger of my left hand, I sat and admired the fiery sparkliness of the 1/4 carat diamond. It was a round brilliant cut, nearly flawless, and perfectly lovely. We had decided to pair it with a matching simple gold wedding band we picked out at the jeweler's. However, a few months later my maternal Grandmother died, and as we were sorting through her belongings I found a simple, plain gold band in a tiny box inside of a drawer. It was 14k gold and I learned it was the second wedding ring my Grandma had owned. Her first ring wore through the band, she wore the second ring for many years, until her children bought Grandma and Grandpa a new wedding ring set in honor of their sixtieth wedding anniversary. So I approached my Uncle Mac, the patriarch of the family, and asked him if I could have Grandma's ring. I told him it was just like the one we were going to buy, but it would mean a great deal to me to have her ring soldered to my engagement ring. With an affectionate smile, he gave me Grandma's ring. Oh, how precious it was for me to have a little piece of family history on my hand. I cherish that ring to this day.

Kyle had initially wanted a fancier ring for me, one with rubies or other gems to compliment the larger center stone. But that was not really my style. I like classic things, simple and plain, nothing too showy. (Except for my wedding dress. There was not an inch on my dress that did not have beadwork or sequins or lace - the trademark of an 80's bride.)

So we decided to pair my lovely solitaire diamond engagement ring with the ring I'd inherited from my Grandmother. Later on, we decided we would add another ring to the other side of the wedding band. Maybe something with gemstones, we'd have to see. We'd planned to do something like that for our tenth anniversary, but quite frankly, we were broke and unable to afford gemstones and gold at the time. I was happy with my wedding ring, I didn't need anything fancy to make me feel more "married". But when we'd been married twelve years, we found another plain gold band with twelve channel-set diamonds that perfectly complimented the plain gold band on the opposite side. So, he bought it for me. It gave an added sparkle to my ring, and compliments the center diamond beautifully.

Now that we have been married almost 20 years we are thinking of changing the ring a bit again. I'll never alter the original setting, or remove Grandma's band - but if we take off the band with the 12 small channel-set diamonds and replace it with a wrap that has sapphires (Kyle's birthstone) and/or diamonds, that would dress up the ring and really show off the center stone. I need to get my ring repaired anyway. It needs new prongs for the center diamond, and one of the smaller diamonds in the channel-set band has a crack in it. No idea how that happened.

And I need to get it resized. It's getting too big after having lost over 80 pounds this past year. Woohoo!!

Anyway it's not the ring that is important - but what it symbolizes. And through thick and thin, bad and good, sweet and sour, we have stuck together like glue. We've weathered many storms together, and trials with our children and families and friends. Sometimes it has been a roller-coaster ride, but always I have had my steady rock. Kyle never wavers - he takes things as they come and he moves forward. I can depend on him. And he has challenged me to work a little harder, to grow a little stronger, to do a little more than I thought I was capable of. He doesn't like frilly, goofy, senseless, useless girls. He has much more appreciation for a woman who can cook a good meal, take care of a screaming baby, fold a load of laundry and give him a massage - ALL AT THE SAME TIME. I'm not the prettiest, or the smartest, I don't have many talents - but he thanks me for giving him five beautiful children. He is appreciative of clean sheets when he climbs into bed after a hard day's work. He gives a particularily thankful nod when I bake a great loaf of bread, or clean the garage, or buy his favorite tea. If I was a shopoholic who was addicted to manicures and regularily changing my hairstyle, he probably would not complain, but he wouldn't be pleased. He never lavishes praise on me - but I know when he notices a job well done. And I love when he notices. It makes me want to do even more for him. He is not the most romantic guy, once he gave me a set of pots and pans for Christmas. But I loved them. Sometimes he forgets birthdays or anniversaries. Sometimes he remembers but still doesn't do anything special. One of my favorite anniversaries was our tenth. After ten years you should probably do something really special, right? Nah. We took the kids to Fargo to the zoo. And had a blast!! Then stayed at a motel and went swimming. It was a great anniversary. One other time, I think it was our fifteen-year anniversary, we hadn't planned anything and he was feeling pretty bad about that. So I went to the store, got some good fruit and cheese and crackers and chocolate - and a bottle of sparkling grape juice. I set up a little tray and lit candles and got out my best crystal goblets - and we sat on our bed and feasted and talked and talked and talked. It was a very memorable anniversary for me. He would have liked to have gone to the Bahamas or Hawaii, or hey, even Medora or something. I was content at home, talking and spending time together, splurging on some goodies to share. What else could we do, with a nursing baby and four more kids at home?

I am blessed beyond what I deserve with a man who has continued to surge ahead alongside me, always thinking of the kids (today he brought home these tiny cans of juices the airlines give away - he knew the kids would enjoy them) and he prefers to be home with us than anywhere else. He could be a sports junkie or hunting fanatic or, God forbid, gambler or drinker. His idea of a good time is a boatload of hot, buttered salty popcorn, an iced tea, and all five kids snuggled up with him in the tv room, watching a movie together. Thank you, God. Oh, how I love the man you gave to me.

To Be Continued...